Tuesday, December 17, 2013

My Nerd Rage Email

Blogging seems to bring clarity in my EVE life. It puts things into focus, I don't know why.

TLDR: I address a AWOX, punishment of that event, and threaten my members. Lots of Drama and no real value to read.

Let me explain a few things, so you can properly understand exactly where I’m coming from.

I have 4 accounts. 1 I plex. That’s $45 dollars a month. I have played with 3 accounts for almost 3 years. I have played on and off since 2003. In raw EVE subscription fees I have put in thousands of dollars and more man hours playing this game than I care to admit. I pay for a teamspeak server out of pocket, I pay for a hosting site out of pocket.

As CEO of SUSU my game time is filled with negotiations, diplomatic conversations, random recruitment bull shit, keeping spies/thieves out of our corp while recruiting valid members, maintaining order between members, insuring that basic fitting rules are followed and addressing access level shit. Essentially trying to make this corp the best I can.

This corp and its goals are entirely my own. I’m head honcho and making the ideal system I have in place happen falls entirely to me. The people who are in this corp look to me to maintain those things.

I wish I could hide behind numbers, quota levels, multi leveled rules, and other nonsense some corps maintain, but I can’t. To an extent each and every person in this corp should and is governing himself to the ideals/goals put forward by myself and those who work together to accomplish them. What makes this job 10x harder is, we essentially attack other players on a regular basis. Sometimes that desire to explode things is directed inward.

If you haven’t already figured out, I have a lot invested in this corp and its success, more than any other person.  I do my best to make decisions based on popular opinion because lets face it, it is a video game after all. I’m not your fucking dad… I’m not your boss. You play this game because of the friends you make in it. I’m simply the person who tries to keep some level of order.

… Nerd rage inc…

Last night, to quote my grandmother.. “I was so mad I could spit”.  It started I think when we killed a legion in Null. Because I was the scout and failed at keeping tackle there was a joking opinion that someone other than the scout should get the loot. Negative. Scouts get paid, plain and simple. 

Shortly after, another scout came across a hauler, it was swiftly dispatched. Hauler. 40m isk kill on the board. The hauler dropped some PI loot, this was also the scouts loot. The scout went to go pick it up with a hauler himself. For whatever reason, Joke… who knows. Dan felt the need to pop the friendly hauler with the PI inside.

Dan is no stranger to shooting friendlies. We all know this. Each of us has done it, so the act itself isn’t entirely on Dan. But it was the overall disregard for our corps way of life and value system that we have in place that I took offense too. It wasn’t his, it wasn’t a duel, it wasn’t even accidental. It was a blatant disregard for the SUSU way of life I bust my ass to maintain.

I called Dan primary and was podded.  He took one of my ships with him. We destroyed 700m in corp assets because someone thought it was funny. 

I later talked to Dan in a personal chat and asked him flatly to give me one reason why I shouldn’t kick him. He claimed it was a joke. See the funny things about jokes, they only really work once. Since this seems to be a regular occurrence with Dan, I asked “What happens when this level of joke stops being funny”?” Its obviously a shock factor joke and once it stops being funny the only way to get a laugh would be to increase the shock.”

He asked “Do you really want me to leave” I said NO, and explained at great length that he is a valuable pilot, but this shit has to stop. “Stop pushing boundaries that don’t need to be pushed.”

I don’t want to kick Dan, I like Dan and he is one our best pilots. But I can’t have my corp mates being scared to haul shit or amuse him in some way that would warrant him playing a joke on them.  I’m more pissed because I have to give this dad lecture, I have to be a tuff guy because nobody else would have the authority to do it in my place. I don’t want to be the heavy, I want to have fun, I want to declare war on everyone in the universe! I want to go hand in hand with my friends to the promise land!  BUT we can’t do that if someone is stabbing us in the dick for the fun of it.

Dad lecture….

I have worked too fucking hard to have my work, my accomplishments in the game to be shit on by someone seeking attention. I pay too much money each month to have my recreation shit on. Last night made me want to close the corp down, tear it apart and start over. Recreate my fun level doing something totally different. EVE is the land of reinvention. I felt it was better to just walk away from the keyboard.

I honestly don’t know what I’m going to do. I just know my EVE game isn’t me being mad about space pixels.

Word of warning.

Our scouts are our life blood, them getting paid is fundamentally the core of who we are in game. If anyone in this game disrespects a scout in the way Dan did last night, I swear to fucking Christ they better have a long game in the works, because I do.

This is the line in the sand. This is the line you should not cross. If your game becomes making ME mad at space pixels. We are going to have a fucking issue. Don’t like it? Don’t stick around, I have never stopped anyone for wanting out.

Do not reply to this mail. Just know that I mean what I say. 

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