Automated Message: Welcome to Narwhals Ate My Duck.
Sent: 2014.06.10 05:04
To: Longinius Spear,
Read corp MOTD. Always wonder. Never not do something. Create content.
This was the welcome message I received when I joined DUCKS.
Seems straight forward.
Never not do something, and create content.
I'm a podcaster, I'm a blogger, I'm a solo and team player. I quite literally can't not, "create content".
Granted, my flavor of content is slightly different than your typical group, but to deny that its content would be just silly.
Thats why when I was hauled down to a private channel with Putrudius (director) and asked to leave Ducks it was a blind side.
What makes it weird is all the factors that occurred before that happened.
These are the facts, and I have no reason to lie, who reads this blog anyway?
Day One: I'm in my interview with FOX and Putrudius explaining who I have become and what I do in wormhole space. I'm a solo invasion player, I have enough ISK in game that I don't really need to do PVE anymore, I mention the podcast, the blog.. they all say "Hmm thats interesting" totally UN-impressed.
Honestly I felt like the new kid at a new school. I could impress a whole new group of dudes. What made it super strange was the voices. These were people I had been corp'ed with in the past and their voices brought back all sorts of fun memories. It was like opening a time capsule and having an interactive conversation with it. It was truly surreal.
I app with my Longinius Spear.
Day Two: FOX asks me to app with my other characters. I figured, sure in for a penny in for a pound. They are doing some fights and don't have an entrance so I can't move in my stuff.
Few days later: I have been logging in every day into Team speak waiting for an entrance when I notice a common trend in conversation.
The term "Try hard" is thrown around in BNI and I have yet to find a better descriptor for people who take this game super fucking serious. A Try Hard is someone who will make fun of your loss mail because you have T1 rigs on a T3. Not talk about the fight, or how much fun you had, just the fact that you even thought to not use T2 rigs on your super serious space ship. Its still YOUR ship, not theirs, but they some how feel you fit it wrong, you're a noob because you didn't use the total best gear and they want to rub it in, just cause.
That's a Try Hard
It wasn't just one conversation I overhead, it was multiple, and they were not quick Trolling jabs, this shit went on for hours. I have NEVER been in a corp like that.
This has never been my style of game play. Never, even when someone does some crazy shit with their fits, I have never had the gumption to make fun of their loss for hours on end because they fit Meta 4 vs T2.
I wonder how they would view my triple box ECM Armor drake pvp gang?
So I brought it up.
Silence. Like not just a stunned silence but a "I can't believe this person even spoke to me" silence.
Hmm I see,
The entire time, they keep going on and on about SRP (ship replacement program) everything revolves around funding it and what fits are appropriate to even try and get reimbursed. I ask for some JamGu fits, they were provided.
The first one linked is so old that it doesn't even work. I found this out after buying everything for it.
When I brought it up, I was linked a different fit, which I bought 3 copies of. Maybe I will impress my new friends with my Tengu Triple box prowess..
Yea... no... Dual boxing in pvp is VERY frowned upon, if you thought would get made fun of for fitting meta 4, FUCK don't you dare try double boxing.. in pvp.. hell, I can't image what kind of punishment I would get for triple boxing ECM tengu.
Well fuck... Now In a corp with 5 characters... essentially 5 accounts worth of characters I can't use in pvp. I can't fly fun crazy shit, yea. But I still want to be part of this new thing that's happening.
I make the quick choice to drop corp with all but one character.
A few days later...
I manage to get my solo character into the DUCKS home hole. Kniht asks me if I need a tab and I want to share some divisional access with some random stranger. I say "Naww its cool" "I don't need that right now."
If I'm only going to fly this 1 approved ship, why bring more into the hole? Why bring more characters in the hole, whats the point? To be made fun off for fitting random welp trash for the fun of it? Naww fuck that. I'll fly the approved SRP approved JamGu. Follow the rules, be on coms, join every fleet from the home hole. These guys are super space serious and I was going to adapt!
Not only that, but I'm not going to store some 650m ISK tengu with some random I don't know my first week in a corp. I'm sorry but the rate in which people are joining the corp and all these strangers around, naww fuck that, this is EVE my shit is going to get robbed. Nope. Not going to do that, I'm not that guy.
I offered to put up my own POS and pay for my own fuel. I was told "you can't do that" "We pay for your fuel and give you a spot, in a medium POS" I asked, "you allow medium POS in your C6?"
Yea, I wouldn't store a fucking T2 in that shit, let alone a bunch of blinged out T3's. You're asking to be invaded and flattened with that crap.
I'll keep my footprint light. Go in with whats required. Try and get a feel for the people I'm flying with.
A Few Days Later...
Chitsa Jason pulls me down into a chat and asks how I like the corp. I explain that I'm getting a feel for the corp and its pilots. I explained that I felt the "try hards' were thick and I wasn't sure if I liked that.
He laughs, and then says "I plan on getting Bronya and Jack into the corp". I said shocked "I'm not sure Bronya is going to like this"
(Side note: I had already talked with Bronya about my first impressions of DUCKS and he was like "damn I'm glad I didn't join that shit", I explained with my normal optimism "well Ducks may work themselves out, I'm going to give them time")
I told Chitsa I'm taking it easy and good luck with getting Bronya.
This is where shit gets weird.
Chitsa Jason asks me if I want to be a director. I'm not making this up, he fucking asked me. I have been in this corp for less than two weeks and I'm offered a directorship.
I instantly say no. For a few reasons.
1. I don't want to be in charge of anyone for a long while. I ran my own corp for over a year, it burned me out, I'm glad to not have that responsibility.
2. If I'm a director I'll have jobs, I'll have drama, I'll be doing things other than playing EVE. Nope not going to have it.
3. I have been in your corp for less than 2 weeks and you offer that to me. I instantly thought to myself, "who else has this very conversation happened with" are you fucking kidding me? Does this guy just give director roles to randoms the knows? Thats a super bad sign for joining a corp.
4. I don't know how to be a director for a corp full of try hards. How do i relate?... Do I need to start making fun of loss mails and making fun of people for getting caught solo on a low sec gate? I'm not that guy.
Yea, if I was on the fence about bring in major assets before, that little offering just vindicated my earlier paranoia. Some fucking guy that Chitsa some how trusts can go ahead and offline everyone else's shit, I'm not going to be that guy.
So now I'm along for the ride. I"m not sure where this is going to end, but I do notice a reoccuring trend in voice coms and mails.
From: kiachi sukando
Sent: 2014.06.16 22:34
To: Narwhals Ate My Duck.,
So as a verryy new corp mate, 3-4 days now, I have had an extraordinary amount of fun in the fights I have had here (the Paladin kill to name a few). The structure of PVP and FCing is top par from what I have seen. Everyone wants to fight and destroy anything and help anyone they can in this alliance. There is one small issue I have taken notice to which is the lesser motivation on site running. As an amatuer player compared to you vets I do not have the most isk and am struggling to make enough for the skillbooks let alone the ship itself. The money I make I just want to pour into ships to help the community, a dread, to be specific. I'd love to fight along side all of you every bit of the day killing anything in our path but it is hard to do when I do not have the isk-flow that most of the vets, with the important site running ships, have. Id just like to know from all the higher ups, are we going to have more of a scheduled site running (not just when nothing is going on). This will continue to bring in isk for corp and for members alike.
Thanks for the time and opportunity to be here,
This mail really does bring out the type of conversations that occurred almost nightly about how people wanted to make money, couldn't make money because of lack of motivation, ships and or skill. Not only that, but with a 50% home site tax, people can't really make much when it split between 10 + people.
This is the SRP situation.
Starting from today the alliance SRP works in the following way:
All doctrine armor T3s are SRPed at 500mil a peace.
All capitals are SRPed at 80% of their value minus insurance.
All doctrine Ishtars, Guardians, Scimitars, ECMgus, Heavy Interdictors, Armageddons are SRPed at 100% of their value.
Directors or CEO have the right to not give out SRP on case by case basis (stupid losses, bad fits, etc).
All other ships are not SRPed unless case by case basis (CEO or director decision again).
All the previous 100% SRP payouts are gonna be done, it is just question of time.
the 100% SRP payouts are done the corp tax on Home sites is going to be
dropped from 50% to 35% and further down to 25% after corp has 30bil
Sounds good right? The main trouble is, after a fantastic welp that ducks suffered a few days ago the SRP program went entirely into the negative.The desire to dig out the SRP program for the majority of the corp wasn't its highest. This was felt by the frequent conversations on this topic, who as to blame, was their shit fits to blame.. was it the FC to blame, this conversation went on for DAYS not hours, but fucking days..
Now remember, I don't do PVE. I don't need to and its not why I log into the game. I sure as shit don't want to do PVE for 50% the reward. I did that for THE H0NEYBADGER to build up a replacement cap fleet so I could start wars with people. No wars were started... lord only knows what happened to those caps.
Now I got another person wanting me to esentially log into the game, play their game, give them half my profits and then make fun of my style of play when I do fun shit on the side.
Not only that, but if you look at the detailed part of the SRP message from Chitsa, you will see what the most common conversation was about SRP.
Directors or CEO have the right to not give out SRP on case by case basis (stupid losses, bad fits, etc).
Now remember anyone is essentially a Director... and on a case by case basis, they could simply deny you this SRP they were taxing the shit out of you for. Great place to hang out right??
Nearly every night, they run sites. Not just in the home hole, but in an expo hole they created. Almost every night. I sit in my 650m isk Jamgu night after night waiting. Instead, its sites for SRP and poor people who lack personal motivation and cry about it constantly.
Tonight: I'm brought in a private convo with Putrudius. He tells me "you aren't working out"."You seem to have your own thing going on and its not the direction DUCKS are headed"."We are removing your roles and booting you"
I'm not going to lie, I was hurt. Clearly DUCKS had some shit to work out, some priorities they needed to straighen out, my solo Tengu character sitting in their HQ POS was obviously different from what they wanted. The only rational was that I wasn't contributing to running sites every night.
Not sure exactly what I was hurting, but simply sitting in coms with old friends was too much for them.
I was more hurt by what the image of what DUCKs was and what its become. Whiny little isk hungry fuckers who just run sites and talk about how elite their fits are. Essentially everything I hate about some 'pro wormhole corps'.
I wanted to change it, inspire them with the actions of my out of corp characters, stories, shenanigans... Nope. Not the direction DUCKS wants to go.
I say to Putrudius "You know Chitsa just a few days ago asked me to be a director right"?"And now I"m being booted, WTF ?!"
He says ... and I quote: "That was a Test" It was a test to gauge your interest level"
I'm floored.. wtf.. a test?! Who does that?
Treat people how you wish to be treated, be honest, if anyone asked me why I left with my other characters I would have explained why. Nope. You're not contributing to the SRP and you don't want to grow up and be in management.
Part of me wants vengeance. To simply move into their holes and punish their ISK gaining obsession with a little wreck bombing. But that wouldn't change them, it would just make people I called friends angry with me and make their life shittier.
Do I want that? I don't know. I want to take the high road, but then again this is a video game. The low road is just as valid.
I also don't want to set a precedent of shitting on people after they find our relationship has come to an end.
I just know that I had high hopes for DUCKs, what they could become as content creators. They may sort themselves out, but not at the rate they are going now.
"A test..." wtf Chitsa..